Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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