Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
