Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize