this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
