dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
