The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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