But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
