I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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