I'm going to jail i love you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
either way he was missing a nipple.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
