I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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