Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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