feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize