I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
