Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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