So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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