i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
