one two three fourrrrnication!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
