We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
