she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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