she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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