butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
