I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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