my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize