you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
