Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
