There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize