how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
