come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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