Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
