I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize