is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
