Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
my liver is dry heaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize