i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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