for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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