My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
