This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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