Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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