Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
