also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
