Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
