Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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