I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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