It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize