Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
