I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks