six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.