Its about making memories worth repressing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad