she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
