I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.