Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
sex in a hospital.. check
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.