about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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