I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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