i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
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Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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