If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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