literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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