Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
