god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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