I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
